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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

'Twas the Night Before Christmas--in the Black Jesus era!!!

From Thomas Lindaman  

Twas the night before Christmas and throughout DC
President Barack Obama kept screwing with the economy
The health care reform bill was hung up in the Senate, you see
And the President and his staff were getting all wee-weed
The children, Malia and Sasha, were snug in their beds
With visions of Miley dancing in their heads
And Michelle in her dashiki, and Barack in his cap
Had just started listening to Kanye West’s rap
When they arose from their chairs to the sound of such noise
They thought it must be the Fox News boys
Away to the window they ran like all scared
Like Obama did when people mentioned Bill Ayers
The moon on the breast of the snow out the door
Made Obama yell “You dumbass, Al Gore!”
When what to his wondering eyes did appear
But Uncle Ted Nugent and a bunch of dead deer
With some TEA Party people behind him in tow
Made Barack and Michelle both say, “Uh oh.”
Ted turned up his amp and with flashpots aflame
And he wailed on his ax as he called conservatives’ names
“On Limbaugh! On Malkin! On Levin and Beck!
On Hannity! On O’Reilly! Give Obama heck!
To the top of the White House and the Capitol Dome
Let them hear your dissent. Drive ‘em all back home!”
They moved down Penn Avenue, to 16 Hundred
And the Obamas felt their hearts fill up with dark dread
They knew they had skated with favorable press
But their schemes and their blunders made quite a big mess
Extravagant parties with the Commander In Chief
Cocktails and black tie affairs with Kobe beef
Flying off to Copenhagen to try some great tricks
Only to fail to get Chicago the Olympics
Not even with Oprah’s great fortune and fame
Could make up for their presentations so lame!
But the straw that broke the camel’s back
Was the leadership skills of which Barack lacked.
He was mocked abroad. He was mocked at home.
He wasn’t even respected within the Capitol Dome!
And with his plans to spend more than we make
And an attitude of “Let them eat cake!”
The TEA Party People and ole Uncle Ted
Seemed to the Obamas to be seeing red
And with good reason, as Obama could admit
Because his Presidency stunk bad just like…Al Gore in the summertime.
But instead of bad tidings and screams of outrage
The group at the White House took out a white page
With guitar a screamin’, the conservative choir
Sang Christmas songs, their spirits soaring higher
They came not to bash, but to offer sweet songs
And soon Barack and Michelle sang along
The TEA Party people gave them both a big gift
To repair any damage from a partisan rift.
Barack got an iPod, the girls got CDs
Michelle got a tip: wear sleeves next time, PLEASE!
The Obamas thanked the crowd for their holiday spirit
And they said it loud enough that even Bob Byrd could hear it.
“The TEA Party people aren’t such bad folks,”
Obama said, without a hint of “teabag” jokes.
The crowd disbursed, their holiday greeting
Given to the President during this chance meeting.

To the TEA Party people, with hearts of good cheer
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year,
To those offended by the holiday greetings I extol
I say “Merry Frackin’ Christmas. Now shut your piehole!”

Thank you Thomas!

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